Why Rest Often Feels Uncomfortable
Do you know what’s interesting? All the self care stuff we know to do…like sitting down with a book or tea, running a bath, booking a massage or going on holiday.
Can actually feel the opposite of what we think! Rest is often very uncomfortable.
I know for me in the past I had this pattern where I would work and work. I’d busy myself with soooo many things.
I’d give to other people (and secretly feel resentful no one was supporting me).
I’d run myself completely dry.
Then….I’d set aside time to lay on the sofa or go on holiday or get a massage and while doing these things I would be so stuck up in my head.
While I was resting, I’d be overthinking things, thinking about the past, worrying about what was ahead. These things weren’t even enjoyable!
My nervous system was in a constant state of overdrive.
Relaxing and resting felt so uncomfortable for me, even though I knew the self care things that could help. Looking back, my nervous system didn’t feel like it was safe to slow down.
It actually felt more safe to be busy.
Unconsciously, my nervous system was operating in a way that if was to slow down and rest, I would somehow be unprepared for the other shoe that could drop.
“Fight or flight” was like self protection.
All of this was happening unconsciously, it wasn’t a conscious story in my mind. But looking back, I can see this is what sat underneath this pattern of constant stress and busyness.
We have to have deep compassion for these parts of ourselves. They are protective parts. Ways of being that we created to ultimately protect ourselves and keep us safe.
But once we have the awareness, we then have the ability to show these parts that there is another way.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We can learn to guide our nervous system, our mind, our bodies to safety and to rest. To show these parts of us that nothing bad is going to happen if we slow down.
When we do this, rest becomes enjoyable.
We feel deeply replenished and nourished by self care, rather than it be a box we tick that leaves us feel unsatisfied.
Nervous system healing and learning to slow down and create a more restful life, has been a HUGE part of my journey.
Along the way, I’ve learnt a lot and distilled this down into a process that I call The 4 Step Process To Release Emotional Stress.
Releasing emotional stress is THE way to start to feel more comfortable resting.
The 4 Step Process is a simple process that I’ve created that shows you the ‘how’ or the ‘way’ to come out of overdrive and find a deep sense of groundedness, peace and safety in your daily life.
This 4 step process is so simple to learn. The course can be completed in about 1 or 2 sittings.
For more:
I go into more depth on this topic, inside the latest episode on the podcast, Episode 24. Steep Your Soul: Why Rest Feels Uncomfortable