To the People Pleasers
As a chronic people-pleaser for the majority of my life, letting go of people pleasing has been one of my biggest life lessons. It’s also a lot of what I support my clients with too.
At the heart of untangling myself from this pattern, has been learning to derive a sense of acceptance from within myself.
As people pleasers, we tend to look to other people, to our achivements and things outside of us as a way to feel safe, stable and confident within ourselves.
But living and dying by the approval of others is a really powerless place to exist in.
If you’re a people pleaser you’ll know what I mean! It feels like you’re this little boat bobbing out in the ocean.
One day you’re feeling good about who you are and what you’re doing (this is normally when others are validating you) but then you find yourself in the middle of a storm when they aren’t.
Rather than being like that little boat that’s so susceptible to the current, winds and weather of the day, you want to come to rely on your own approval instead.
One of the most important commitments I make to myself daily is to not let what’s happening outside of me define how I feel about myself.
It’s ongoing work but does get easier and more natural over time.
By this I mean - whether I manifest exactly what I want, whether things occur exactly the way I want them to or not, whether certain people are approving or validating me, I will still feel okay about myself.
You want to learn to derive your acceptance from within and let this be what anchors you.
Whether you nail that thing or not. Whether other people are seeing your value or not, make the home you have within yourself feel loving and supportive.
Don’t let what other people think about you determine how you feel about yourself.
Your self worth doesn’t need to be on the line all the time. Because in truth, you are worthy. Always. And in all ways.
The next time you feel your people-pleasing wounds being triggered tell yourself:
I am enough. I won’t let this define how I feel about myself.
